So…. you’re single for the first time in over 20 years.  It’s a whole different world out there!  There are tons of online dating sites.  Your younger friends will tell you that you need to be ready to “put out” because things move fast as in VERY fast in today’s dating world.   You are scared, a little insecure, curious and anxious……..what’s a girl to do?

This was definitely me five years ago and I know many of my newly divorced friends feel the same.   As I think back to where I was when I first re-entered the dating world I was a lost puppy.  I had no idea what I was doing, what the expectations were and who’s expectations was I trying to fulfill.   I made some mistakes.   Went on the dating sites, got off the dating sites, got back on and met some nice men in the process.  There were a few that I quickly liked.   Those ended up being the toughest to navigate and others where there just wasn’t that connection.

I feel so much more grounded now.   Five years later I have learned a few lessons worth sharing…….

•   You are a Paragon goddess.   You don’t have to do, act or say anything you are uncomfortable with.   Be your genuine self.   That is the only way you will be able to evaluate whether your suitors are a good match.   Certainly let the man lead, pursue and be open.   You should be ready to receive whatever they want to share but only what you are comfortable with.   This is YOUR life and YOUR journey.  You don’t have to play by anyone else’s rules.
• Work on your spiritual self.  Anytime spent on your well-being is time well spent.   When you are not in a relationship you have the luxury of time.   Time you can dedicate to yourself,   I have found that exploring the spiritual side of life, which can include religion if you are so inclined, can do amazing things for your confidence and overall well-being.   Developing that internal relationship with yourself as well as God, the Universe, the Creative Force, etc. is truly a journey worth taking.
• Work on your physical well-being.   I have rarely heard anyone ever say how bad they felt after a workout.    They may say they are achy.   They may complain about finding the time to get it in.   However I rarely hear they feel BAD after a workout.    Engaging in physical activity 4-5 times a week is a ritual in honoring yourself.  We are worth it.   Making this a habit is one of the most impactful things you can do for yourself bar none.
• Finally, breathe and be good to yourself.  Celebrate that you are courageous enough to get out there.  It’s not easy to date.   It will feel like work sometimes.   It’s will be exciting at other times.  It can be disappointing and rewarding.   What you should focus on is that you are getting out of your comfort zone and getting out there.  Anytime you are out of your comfort zone you are growing and that should be celebrated

Date on Paragons!   You are amazing!

A Paragon (intentionally capitalized), is a person or thing viewed as a model of excellence.  It is a person or thing regarded as a perfect example of a particular quality.  That is exactly what we are ladies!  We are perfect.  We are unique.  We have lived our lives and are so much better for it.  But even Paragons in their perfection know that life will always serve up challenges.  It is for this reason that I have begun this blog.

Like most of you, for me the web had certainly become a place where I go to for information.  My discovery and research sessions lead to a realization that there is a “white space”  of sorts, when it comes to women in their 40s, 50s and beyond.  Sure you can visit a site to get information on how to care for aging parents, and another to get information on how to transition into an empty nester when the kids go off to college, but there was not one place that addressed all of our concerns.  We, as Paragons, are entering into the busiest, most dynamic time in our lives.  We are, in fact, caring for our aging parents, sending our children off to college and graduate school.  Some may be getting ready to attend their children’s weddings or even their grandchildren’s 1st birthday.  We are also facing decisions at work.  After having invested 20+ years in our careers, do we take it next level? Is there guilt involved in making this decision?, or perhaps, having raised your children the last 20 years,  are now facing a decision on what to do with the next 20 years.  We are faced with a myriad of important decisions all the while going through some REAL physical, hormonal and many times spiritual changes.

Ladies, we are PARAGONS.  There is no group on this planet, that I am more proud to be a part of.  We are strong, sexy, smart and so very gracious.  This blog is meant to be a celebration of women in our peer group.  It is my hope that we can build a community of sharing while exchanging really great/quality information.  It is a community of Paragons (not Cougars, or MILFs or Unicorns) that understand each other and the many real and important issues we are facing.  Welcome to Paragon Problems!

With Love,

Lady Paragon